The person who made the quote in my previous post caught wind of my harsh critique of her language and was offended to say the least. I often find myself writing words that hurt people’s feelings.
Interestingly, I write more hurtful words than I do speak them. I tend to be very docile and reserved in person, unless I’m at a party and alcohol is involved (in which case I can loosen up and be more social), but I often times find it more difficult to say harsh or critical words to someone in person then I do online on a blog or on Facebook. It should come as no surprise, that typing words on a keyboard is a lot easier than saying them to someone’s face.
I believe it’s pretty cowardly of me to hold back my critiques and disagreements in person, but let them loose online. It’s not difficult to understand why, typing is much easier for me than speaking. Although I can speak fluently and confidently, it’s just easier for me to type words out than to speak and risk fumbling over the right words.
Speaking in person to be convincing in an argument is much tougher than in formal writing. When you speak in person, you are perpetually “on the spot” as you speak and people are waiting for your words to come out. If you slip up, stumble, or slur, or lose your train of thought; you immediately lose nearly all credibility you had in trying to explain your position. However, in writing, you have much more time to compose your thoughts and choose just the right words in just the right order to sound as convincing as you wish to be.
So back to feelings…I don’t care for them and I wish we didn’t have them. They make life so much more complicated than it needs to be. Of course, some feelings are beneficial or enjoyable…like the feeling you get after relieving your bladder when you’ve been holding it for so long. Or the feeling of excitement after seeing something exciting or the feeling of accomplishment after accomplishing something. But the sad and miserable feelings we get when someone does or says something hurtful to us should be surgically removed at birth. We might have a lot less conflict in the world if we can do that.